Wednesday, May 07, 2008

just one more week

until we find out what is wrong with my 1o year old. Im both chomping at the bit and completely avoidant, if that makes any sense.

I think the basics we are looking for/ at are ADD, anxiety/depression, Aspergers, or asshole. The thing that makes me sick to consider is childhood onset bipolar disorder. Im hoping whatever the dx is that it comes with a magical mystery pill to solve all our problems.

In other news, Im seriously considering whether or not I wish to continue homeschooling. I never wanted to do it in the first place, but unfortunately public education is so unbelievably garbagey that we fell into it. There are real draw backs to homeschooling. Unfortunately there are much greater drawbacks to school. I paraphrase some surfer guy I heard on the radio

"Some people are like, go to school! But don't let your kids swim with the fucking sharks! That's deadly! My parents were like swim with sharks! but dont let your kids go to fucking school! That is deadly."

Still, my happiness and sanity deserve some consideration. While Im certain there isnt anything in the world more worthwhile than what Im doing, after 3 moves in 4 years and living for almost 11 with someone who is so demanding and persistant, I feel like I would like to retire. To a desert island. With margaritas and daiquiris. And silence.

By 7 pm I am so tired of people speaking that I cringe when my dh opens his mouth. By 9 Im so tired of the noise and detritus of children and my dh that I am homicidal.

And by 10 Im so exhausted and sick of me that I go to bed.

And when I wake up at 7 I am no where near ready to do it again.

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