Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Christmas Shopping- Thank You, Jesus (and Al Gore) for the Internets

Just when I decide I am done, I decide I am not done.

Like on Sunday when I decided my 2 year old daughter needed TMX Tickle Me Elmo.
Or yesterday when I decided my 9 year old needs Pirates of the Caribbean 2.

Only that middle child really has everything he NEEDs.

as if.

Needs, my hat.

Like anyone needs all the crap we all procure for our kids at Christmas time. WHY? WHY do I do this every year. Looking back at my own (reasonably happy) childhood, not one present on Christmas morning stands out among the others. Ok, not true. The Christmas I was 17 my parents gave me a Toyota corolla portfolio and eventually I did get a car to drive. That worked out well for all of us, as I was expected to take my brother to school and practices and etc from then on (which is as it should be. I am not complaining.)

But the kid presents? The MUST HAVE dolls and games and things? I dont really recall a single one.

So this Christmas, its all books and books on tape and that video for my herd, with one exception: weaponry. Because no boy's christmas dreams are complete unless he has something with which to shoot his eye out.* So. Nerf guns and marshmallow shooters for everyone. To minimize the risk of actual eye damage.


*My friend's 3 year old actually did lose his eye. He fell on a glass topped table. It was Not Fun for many many weeks. There is now a prosthetic eye. Imagine trusting your three year old with a very expensive oversized marble. Imagine how you would feel when you heard from the back seat "Uh Oh! I Lost it." Imagine your three year old taking his eye out at pre-school for the amusement of his friends. Oh yes. Parenting is beyond our wildest dreams, isnt it?

Thursday, November 30, 2006

Goodbye Thanksgiving, Hello Advent!

November got away from me.

Between an impromtu trip to Virginia to see my brother and a planned trip to Massachusetts for the holiday, nothing much got accomplished this past month. Don't scoff if that sounds like nothing. Packing and unpacking for 5 people is never easy. The sheer volume of laundry this family generates is enough to make me quake. Laundry will be a constant theme for my blog. I know, I know. We all have laundry. But my kids have a penchant for dress up that means we are buried under layers of odious fake laundry. Not familiar with fake laundry? Danielle Bean is. My husband turned 32 in November, and we made him a great cake called a breakfast skillet cake. Go google man cake and you'll find a picture online. It was cake made to look like 2 fried eggs and 2 sausage patties. Served in a cast iron skillet, it was a manly cake indeed.

We read what we were supposed to read, and are actually ahead in that aspect, so that is something, right? The boys tolerated [u]The Witch of Blackbird Pond[/u] fairly well, though it was not a favorite. They tolerated it only because they were trapped in the car on a 6 hour trip home from Massachusetts and they had no choice. If nothing else, I still control the car radio. (Insert maniacal laughter here.) We are not too far behind in our history reading either. But I am afraid that the workbooks and other Sonlight assignments were just not done. I take heart, knowing that the public school kids barely attended this November, thanks to half days, and Veteran's Day and election day and a teaching convention (wouldn't it be better to schedule a teachers convention in the summer?)

At any rate, the thing is, I need more time. I need an advent for Advent. Because I want to make this season memorable and cool for the kids. The problem is I am short on creativity and energy. We have plans for St Nicholas Day, which include new Christmas jammies for all three children as well as a wonderful Christmas CD from Classical Kids. I have a budding idea regarding cookies and candies- I believe I will ask each child to name their favorite treat and then make it with them- perhaps we'll even make it late at night when Daddy is here to distract the smallest helper. Of course, we have mass weekly and a party to attend for Sunday School, and chocolate Advent Calendars. We also have to find the advent wreath we made last year and see if our candles survived our midsummer move from Indiana. We have to select and cut a tree, hang some garland, and curse our tree stand (that we leave strictly up to Dad.) We have to decorate the house and get ready for visitors through out the month of December. And we need to find a decent chinese restaurant so that we can carry on the fine family tradition of ordering out on Christmas eve. (My inlaws started this years ago and I honestly think its one of the funniest traditions ever and I will never give it up.)

Maybe I ought to go do some of these things rather than blog about them. Then I wouldn't need the advent for Advent.

Also, the 2 year old can say the word idiot very clearly now. Isn't that heartwarming.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Parenting advice

Situation: kids acting crazy (yelling, fighting, and stomping) and waking up their sister

Solution: it is in your best interest to act swiftly and get REALLY MAD. Put both boys in the corner (or failing the availability of quality corners, just stand them near the wall for 10 minutes or so) Then (here's the good part) tell them that they must clear the whole house of all their dirty socks and jeans and cast off sweatshirts and do the laundry THEMSELVES (because you are TOO TIRED from their AWFUL BEHAVIOR. )

Why this works: 1. they are scared not to MOVE MOVE MOVE because Mom is clearly inches away from total lunacy, as evidenced by the fact that she actually used the timer for the corner standing (ok, I don't even have a tidy corner, wallstanding.) 2. they feel badly because they KNOW they are the cause of aforementioned lunacy.

I shouldn't give parenting advice because if I were such a Good Mother I wouldn't even have the laundry problem. Nor would my children scream at one another. Who taught them the word "idiot" anyway? I hate that person.

I think it was me.

Bonus feature of the old fashioned corner excercise- the little sister gets to practice her nurturing and strengthen her bond with her brothers by continually telling them how sorry she is and rubbing their backs as they stand in the corner. Sowwy. Sowwy Ahhh. Sowwy Dadu. Sowwy.

Monday, November 06, 2006

Well. I never had a blog before. or a blahg. This might be a blahg, I am afraid. I never understood why anyone ever thought other people would want to read the things they write about their mundane little lives until I started reading some (really quite brilliant) blogs. I am not so confident that my attempt to chronicle my daily life will be anywhere near as exciting as my most favorite blogs, but it certainly will give me an outlet to say unto the world at large WHERE THE FRESH HELL ARE THE NICE PEOPLE IN NEW JERSEY? I have 2 friends from my online career who live here. Both are lovely. Both work full time. If you stay at home and homeschool without "benefit" being a conservative evangelical christian in this state you are apparently anathema.

homeschool craft du jour: make and display freak flag