This should be very instructive. It should also take me out of the running for mother of the year.
8ish-get up and make coffee. stumble to computer. ignore children where ever they may be until sugar from International Delight hits bloodstream.
9ish- toss easy breakfast their way- lean pockets breakfast pockets. mmmmm
10ish- holler at children that we wont be sitting around all day damn it
11ish- start school
12ish- make lunch and consider putting head in oven with frozen pizza. Curse electric oven.
1ish- continue school. Make Brenna watch tv in hopes she'll a nap
2ish- Start counting down til 5 when I can drink a beer
3ish- send desperately evile children outside. Hope the neighbors get home and that they'll all play there. Make not of time and reassure myself that there is a beer in the fridge.
4ish- check my evile mommy site and realise I forgot to thaw meat for dinner. Contemplate the relative nutritional merits of canned soup or toaster waffles.
5ish- BEER TIME. Just one. Light. Sam Adams is preferred.
And after that the husband is home and I deflect all games of sorry, memory and all reading of books. Because I wouldnt want to deprive him of the opportunity to bond with his children.
MY day is free of all butt wiping. Well, I mean other people's butts. And fern, let that give you hope. For someday soon, you will wipe no butt but your own too.
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2 comments:
You are awesome. That is a lot more (seriously, nearly identical) to my days pre-Duggifying.
You seriously don't have to wipe Brenna when she poos? What, does she have the dexterity of a 25-year-old? I am afraid to let the boys try, in part because of the chance that one may escape the bathroom without me checking, and poop will be everywhere in my house. But maybe I should let them try... Seriously, she doesn't need help? What the hell kind of geniuses are you raising over there? Evil ones, certainly, but wow.
Why, oh why, are we not next door neighbors?
Brenna is GIFTED, fern. The boys had to be wiped until they were about 6, I swear. I have done my poopy time. In fact, since I had the child who pooped on the floor for a year I may have done more than my fair share of poopy time. LOL
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